1. Boys like explosions. Here are some examples of real life
explosions. Brother sits behind sister in double stroller. He isn't even old
enough to talk but reaches out and pulls her hair. She screams. He smiles. He
reaches out and pulls her hair again. She screams...repeat. Mom wonders why
little brother would be so mean. He is not mean. He's bored. Did you see that
awesome sister explosion when her hair got pulled? Mission accomplished. Little boy takes the cereal box and pours it
all on the floor. Mom starts to yell and then catches herself to use her best
parenting skills to talk about motives, consequences, etc. On the next day little
boy pours the oil on the floor, similar scenario. Mom wonders, "Why does
he keep doing this? We know why. Boys like explosions. They would rather knock
the blocks down than build them, they would rather watch their siblings react
than live in peaceful boredom, they would rather make a run for the front of
the church and be chased by their parent than sit painfully on the pew. There is no law more intriguing than cause
and effect. That's why a little boy would turn on a resting cookie dough
beater. Did you see that dough fling all over the kitchen? It was amazing,
cleaning up not so much, but worth it. For mom, this knowledge may not make the
explosions any more convenient, but it does make them funnier.
2. Boys like to be the hero. They have heroes-Luke
Skywalker, Han Solo, Iron Man, Captain America, and Dad. They don't like to get
bossed around because heroes don't get bossed around, but they don't mind
saving the day. So I guess this translates into two actions. Present
instructions as choices. "Will you please?" "Would you rather
clean now and get done sooner or in 10 minutes when you've gone down the slide
one more time?" And thank them for saving the day with appreciation for
their muscles, speed, goodness, strength, intelligence, kindness, bravery. And
don't worry, sometimes they have to get bossed around. We don't always get what
we want. Even Luke Skywalker has rules.
3. Boys like to test their mettle. If Moms are setting
boundaries keeping them safe, how can they tell if they're getting more manly?
Mom says they can jump on the trampoline. Mom looks out the window. If the boys
aren't doing flips they are trying to bounce each other off. Of course the next
level is jumping off the deck to the trampoline. Mom might want to get this
over with while she's around just in case someone needs to go to the hospital.
Mom sends boys down to play in their room. Boys jump on the beds. That being
mastered they pull the mattresses off and use them to catapult brothers to the
other beds. Friends come over. Mom hears ricocheting in bedroom. Mom finds boys
shooting airsoft guns in bedroom, always pushing, testing, risking, becoming
stronger, faster, better, give or take some lost blood, brain cells, etc. I
understand it's part of becoming a man, but it gives me a heart attack. Many
times my final words were, "Okay, but don't come crying to me."
4. Boys don't really like to be teased. This is so confusing because they spend a lot
of time teasing, but teasing them usually brings out the fight. This goes back
to them wanting to be the hero. The action is respect the male ego. It's alive
and well.
5. Boys run around and yell, but they have a heart. This may
be obvious to some, but all that wildness makes a mom forget that there's a
little lovey guy inside. Don't forget to show them tenderness. That's what moms
are for, to teach them to love, and boys do love their mommas. So snuggle those little heroes-big and
small-even if they try to run away.
And if you're lucky enough to have other children, you're in
for a treat because brothers are awesome.
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