How 'bout them Huskers aka on being with child.

Once when I was anticipating a long and boring layover in the Denver Airport, I happily ran into a friend and her husband from Nebraska.  We began chatting, and our conversation turned to labor and delivery stories. You know how we do.  We're definitely bragging.  It's like recounting old sports victories.  Well after patiently listening for a while the husband wryly interjected, "How 'bout them Huskers?"  Point taken, but in my black heart, ever since that day, I've imagined interrupting a "Who should win the Heisman this year" conversation with, "This one time, my water broke :)"

So, for those of you still reading, I do not pretend to be a health care professional, but I want to share a few opinions I've developed and tips I've learned about baby making, just mom to mom

There is a wonderful article by Valerie Hudson Cassler that casts a beautiful light on the privilege of bearing children.  She starts at the beginning with Eve in the Garden of Eden.  "It is through women that souls journey to mortality and gain their agency, and in general it is through the nurturing of women, their nurturing love of their children, that the light of Christ is awakened within each soul.  And we should include in that list of souls Jesus the Christ. Even Christ our Lord was escorted to mortality and veiled in flesh through the gift of a woman..."

By understanding the magnitude and importance of child bearing we position ourselves to live it well, give freely what we have and prepare ourselves to give up a few things that we may or may not have again until the resurrection.

My daughter was right when she commented that pregnancy is like Russian roulette.  You never know when you're going to escape the bullet.  For instance, my mother was always nauseated for the first few months. She was 3 months pregnant when I got married, and I remember her telling me that she may not make it to my wedding if she didn't feel good enough.  At the time I was incensed.  "You would miss my wedding because you're feeling nauseated?"  Then when it was me 3 months pregnant I saw the light, "I can't plan anything.  I'm nauseated."  Luckily, my daughter missed the nausea bullet this time, but this is more rare than common.  For all the other moms who have been hit  just remember, this is nature's way of helping you take care of yourself and your baby.  If not for sickness you could easily carry on as if nothing was different, skipping meals, staying up late.  But this way, knowing that you'll pretty much throw up if you  let yourself get tired or hungry, you take naps and snack throughout the day.  Speaking of snacks, I recommend natural whole almonds.  They aren't greasy or crumbly, can easily fit in your pocket and don't smell weird.

One more tip on nausea-adrenalin is your friend.  You think you don't want to leave the house or be with people, but that little surge of adrenalin that attends change and excitement can take the edge off.  Say yes to parties.

Once again exercise is on the must-do list.  You want to be strong for labor and as sane as possible so your family will have positive associations with pregnancy.  I say this laughing because a very common emotion that comes with the marvelous state that is expecting is "If I suffer, we all suffer,"  Let's try and make that a short stage, maybe a blip or two.

Growth is good.  There's lots of talk about baby bumps.  Whatever, more like major metamorphosis of the entire body.  My friends would comment on their baby weight gain.  My true friends would say numbers like 35, 40, 45.  Once my total gain hit 35 I stopped doing the math.  I can't tell what I don't know, but it was a high number.  But what do we expect?  We're feeding a child who's growing a million cells a second, (that may not be quite accurate) and our body is preparing to support nursing a baby, so embrace the growth...everywhere.

The good news is that when we're pregnant we have great hair.  Be prepared for it to fall out after delivery, but in the meantime it's thick and shiny.  Play to your strengths.  Get a great haircut, style it, it's your best pregnant-body feature.  While the rest of your you is waxing and waning, your hair is shining, so work it. And once again I want to emphasize the importance of mascara.

The last trimester is designed to prepare you for labor physically and mentally.  When you're tired of going to the bathroom every 30 minutes and you'd give anything for one really good breath, and people say things like, "You're ready to pop." (I'd like to pop them) and "Woah, when's that baby due?"  And "Are you still here?"  (Clearly they didn't see you crying hysterically in the Dr's. office because you believe with all your heart that you will never be unpregnant) then you're ready to trade pregnancy for labor.

Now it's time for delivery.  For those of you who are pregnant but have never delivered, as you get close to your due date you'll wonder if those braxton-hicks contractions are labor.  They can be regular and uncomfortable, but real contractions have a zing. Real labor is undeniable.

 I like to walk around for a while before going to the hospital.  I hesitate to suggest this if you don't know your typical labor ways, but I do remember on my 7th child not wanting to go to the hospital yet.  It was snowing outside and my husband did not feel comfortable taking the chance of bad roads.  We compromised.  I went to the hospital, but didn't check in.  I hung out in the lobby.  It was perfect because a friend of mine had delivered the day before, and so I got to chat with her and then ran into her visitors in the hall.  When I decided I wanted to check in I was practically ready to deliver.

(TMI alert)  This one time, my water really did break.   I think this should be more of an open topic because I know of no protocol for proper moving through public places after having one's water break.  I had tried to prepare for the outing to the hospital with my normal feminine options, but this did not prove sufficient.  As my husband and I passed random strangers in the hall I remember directing my husband to "Walk in front of me, now walk behind me."  It was hilariously awkward as I couldn't believe this was really my life, and why hadn't I seen anyone else walking around society leaking amniotic fluid?  I read in a friend's blog that she wrapped herself in a towel and headed to the hospital.  Are there any better options out there?  I'd seriously like to know.

Here are my opinions on labor. 1. Screaming doesn't help. 2. Breathing helps.  3. Wiggling your toes helps. 4. Warm whirlpool baths help. (I want one for 3 hours.  20 minutes is not long enough.) 5. Praying helps. 6. Being thankful to be a co-creator with God and remembering the Savior's sacrifice helps. 7. A loving husband and calm and capable doctor help. 8. A sense of humor helps.  (a note here.  No one should be telling any jokes but mom.  Anyone else who dares to be funny risks elimination.)

And then the baby,  the little person that you have been with for 9 months. That wiggling, kicking, hiccupping bone of your bone flesh of your flesh is in your arms.  This will be one of your best friends forever.  You will know them better than anyone else and love them better than anyone else.  You will be the one who loves them when they feel no one else does.  You will be the one they want to call when they're sick or hurt or life is hard.  You will teach them about God and love and faith and hope.  It's a big job, but it's yours and you were chosen for each other, not because you're perfect, but because it's right.  And God will help you do it.